Boys, Toys and all sorts of Naughtiness

July 31, 2009 at 4:40 pm (Let's Talk About Sex Baby)

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Ahhh Vic, I have to reiterate the naughty vs. nice with a little bit of dirty. Sitting around recapping our past with a spliff and a bottle of vino I don’t think you and I could ever be classified as completely nice? Innocence is not our strong point, we know too much.

After coming out of the 3-year relationship, depression and lack of sex had set in hard. Luckily I had met some awesome girls working at Dementure (name changed in order not to get sued by large corporation), they could see the purple tinge setting in as sexual frustration took over my entire body. Thoughts were completely overtaken by “why did I break up with “bad shag” and “should I beg for break up sex, even if its shit, at least it’s a shag?”It was my last day working at Dementure and as a going away gift these awesome chicks bought be a gift voucher for Ann Summers (adult store).

So one Saturday some mates and I went there, to the back of the store, far away from the frilly lingerie. Large, wonderful penis shaped machines greeted us from all corners and we stood in complete awe. Which one to choose, there were so many colours? I had of course heard of the Rampant Rabbit, but it was 40 Pounds and my voucher was only for 20. After hearing the stories of orgasms that shook the earth, I just thought “Screw it, I’m buying that baby!”

I raced home, hoping and praying that nobody would be home. I had to try to this thing out, as luck would have it I was in the clear, my Rabbit and me were home free. Now to get a complete picture, it’s called a Rabbit because of its wonderful ears that tickle the clitoris while the “penis” is doing its thing on the inside. My word, my word, this was something else all together.

Guys always try to do the clit think while you are shagging but they never get it quite right, my Rabbit got it soo right, sooo very, very right. I didn’t know you could come on inside and the outside at the same time. It was an explosion that I will never forget.

Don’t get me wrong its not a replacement for the real thing, nothing will ever be a replacement, although I have read stories of chicks getting addicted to the Rabbit, I never did. Nothing will ever replace a real man, kisses and cuddles and pure fiery lust.

But I suppose every girl has to have the story of her very first dildo, mine was the Rampant and he did get me through a very sketchy patch until the Irishman and the Fur ball came along. Irish and Fur ball, now that’s a good story, another time.

-Holly

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Naughty or Nice?

July 30, 2009 at 6:19 pm (Fun and Games)

I was at Lady Chatterly’s Chamber today, to have a look at the flimsy, lacy, feathered and leathered goodies they had… and while they certainly had some interesting things, I was a bit disappointed. Kink have a far better lingerie range!

Anyway, when I was there I started thinking about naughty vs. nice. I can’t help it, I go into any of those places and I will gravitate towards the pink lace and white fluff – I just love all the girly stuff. But there were some interesting black and red things there, and I have to admit that I did at least take a look.

Overall, I prefer being nice… at least on the outside. It’s like having a really sexy piercing or tattoo, and dressing like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth – as Usher put it, being a lady on the street but a freak in the bed. I can still be a very bad girl, but he wouldn’t see it coming. A bit of pleasure, and a bit of pain… which is why I’ve always wanted a pair of pink leather cuffs and a fluffy paddle. 😉

I think I must make a plan to get to Kink soon, hmm.

~ Vic

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PMS: Are all females one giant hormone?

July 27, 2009 at 8:10 pm (Uncategorized)

I thought it best to write this post as that little PMS hormone is coursing through my veins. And oh, what a horrible hormone he is. I call it a he because anything that makes a woman feel this shit has to be a man. My period is also a he.

Fact: A woman will always try and cause a fight with you when she is PMS, its not you its HIM.

Fact: Never ever try and placate a PMS woman when she is angry or upset she will fuck you up or cry.

Fact: Never ever blame anything on a womans hormones, you will be destroyed.

Fact: Never get a PMS woman drunk. Remember that last time she slapped you through the face, puked and cried about you how you “dont love her enough”. Yes children, she was probably PMS.

Fact: Always buy chocolate, always. Its a known fact that it will helps to decrease that male hormone and raise her seritonin levels. You may even get a pre period shag.

Fact: She may cry about the most obscure things but leave her be, give it 7 days. (I have to say the ending of Hancock last night was fucking special and I totally cried)

Fact: Most woman will start questioning the relationship when they are PMS, we are oversensitive and actually cannot compute things normally. Our normal sense of reality goes out the window completely and you are a bad, bad man that doesn’t love us enough.

Fact: Do not touch my breasts, right now it feels like I have two giant bricks in each breast, any sudden movements and I cannot be held accountable for my reflex actions.

He will be arriving soon and to be quite honest I cant wait. The urge to eat everything in sight will vanish. The impulse to murder that taxi driver with my shot gun will go. I dont really have a shot gun but how much fun would it be if you gave a PMS woman a shotgun in Cape Town traffic. So bloody evil but you have to love it.

Till next time – Holly

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Handjobs: Crossing New Frontiers

July 26, 2009 at 7:59 pm (Guy Skills)

Male Underwear

So Holly’s first encounter of the hard kind was pretty different to mine – I won’t even bother mentioning the first time a guy tried to force his hand up my vajayjay… but the first time I ever had a rock hard man member forced into my hand is another story altogether…

To be honest, at the time I was kind of going through a phase. I had literally broken up with a boyfriend of a few months who had just given me a Christmas present of a bag of weed, and the poor dude had been trying to tell me he loved me. Or liked me really, really much. Whatever. He was sweet, but it wasn’t working – he was a doormat who would do just about anything I asked, and too much nice guy can get a girl down after awhile. So I did the mature thing and dumped his ass (er, not) at a party I’d invited him and his best mate to. And then I hooked up with an ex boyfriend of mine. But then things went pear-shaped.

The very, very hot younger brother of a good friend of mine (who’s house we were at incidentally) suddenly invited me to share his sleeping bag on the balcony, and being the suddely liberated chick I was, I just couldn’t say no. Things were going fine when suddenly I felt something being pushed into my hand. Something hard, smooth and how should we say, throbbing. It was the first penis I’d encounted first hand… and it was rather persisent. I didn’t know what to do, but the dude in question luckily did, and he pretty much set the pace for what was to be my very first jerk off. It was weird… I felt powerful, but at the same time I was pissed that he was taking over and almost doing it all for me.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the ex I’d hooked up with got pissed off when he realised what had happened, and aside from an illicite snog years later, I left the toyboy alone. And it was a while before I realised how to regain control over situations like that.

Now I know just how to handle them. Every guy is different – it’s just a case of sussing them out and knowing what makes them tick. Once you know that, you have the power. And that’s hot. Hehe.

~ Vic

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The Finger: A First

July 23, 2009 at 4:21 pm (Fun and Games, Let's Talk About Sex Baby)

gtaiv_finger_problemAhh Vic, I have to agree about the whole “leg jelly” thing, it almost feels like you have absolutely no control over the spasm’s occurring in your legs. There is however nothing worse than walking away feeling like your fanny has been violated by a hand. The hand is however what leads us to another first, the first sexual experience. Since this is, somewhat of a Memoir starting from the beginning and going through what I can only call alot of fucking funny experiences.

Back in the day I used to spend alot of time in Pinelands, doing naughty things like drinking OB’s and peach schnapps, I was still somewhat naive of the power that a girl has over man having only kissed a drooling labrador (first toyboy).  Age I suppose is somewhat relevant, I was only 15.

My friend was was sitting on the bedroom floor, playing some cool tunes cigarette in hand, joint in the other. I was lying on the bed under the covers with Stan, joking around like only teenagers do when all of a sudden I felt this incredibly stiff, (crap what do I call it, I dont think I had learnt the word cock yet) willy. I was like, “oh my hat Stan, is that your….??” He smiled at me with this knowing look. Then I all a of sudden felt this hand creep into my pants, I didnt want it to seem like I didnt know what I was doing,  so I slid my hand into his pants. He got all excited, I have so say I did too.

I kept on thinking to myself, so this is what they are all talking about, thats also when I realised the power a woman has over a man and I have to say I loved it, I wanted more. I kept on thinking if I can do this to silly little Stan, imagine what I could do if it was a guy that I actually liked.

Stan was dumped soon after when I did meet a guy that I liked back in those Stokers days. It was this incredible sense of power that I couldnt help but want to hone and perfect. Stan taught me one thing and didnt have anymore to teach, it got boring. Yes, I did turn into a right little bitch, I wont deny it, dumping one guy and moving on to the next when they just werent good enough. But as the years progressed, boys have gotten me back for my very cocky and arrogant ways.

But I still do beleive in the power a woman has over man, its such an incredibly powerful feeling knowing that you can do that to a person, make them turn to complete mush litrally in your hands or mouth, whichever you prefer.

😉 Till next time, Holly

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Foreplay: you’re doing it wrong stupid

July 21, 2009 at 8:17 pm (Guy Skills)

foreplay

It never fails to amaze me how little men seem to understand about the female body. Even by the end of their twenties, it so often remains a huge mystery – they know about boobs of course, and if you’re lucky they know where the elusive clitoris is. But generally, it seems to be a hit and miss kinda thing… and then they never seem to understand why we don’t roll over in orgasmic bliss and bow down to their ‘magic’ touch.

Tip: you’re not going to find it by trying to shove your whole hand up there, or by trying the assertive-like brute force approach. For fucksake, you’d think men would have figured this out in their teens.

Still, for every five idiots who need a manual just to get to the oral action part, there’s another one or two who seem to know what they’re doing and doesn’t leave you with a sore fanny as Holly would say. You know they’re doing it right when your legs do that jelly thing and you don’t get bored half-way, basically.

Maybe we need a manual to help the unenlightened ones… but then again, maybe we just need to give them clear orders to follow. 😉

~ Vic

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Bro’s before Ho’s…

July 21, 2009 at 5:48 pm (2009)

betty_white_is_sick_of_your_shit

I have to agree with you Vic, there is nothing like a boy/man that can kiss well, there is nothing worse than someone trying to perform a tonsillectomy by shoving their tongue down your throat.

However let us head to the topic at hand.

You meet a guy, theres a connection, you kiss and then, only then does your friend tell you that she liked him. Hmmm its a difficult one because now theres this whole connection between you and said boy. What do you say to friend,” I’m sorry that he chose to suck face with me instead of you”.

Friend is outright, blatantly ignoring you now, won’t say whats wrong, wont have it out with you.  So I continued with toy boy who turned into soft cock and now I am 1 friend down and soft cock is back to being a nerdy friend on the side.

Was it all worth it?

Said friend was a fairly new friend with Granny tendencies, she helped me through my “I hate Cape Town, I want to go back to London phase”. To be honest I dont take that sort of shit seriously, I have this uncanny ability to forgive and forget and I find it extremely hard to understand people that hold onto stuff that is so incredibly petty, a soft cocked boy.

I do however understand if a friend fucks your boyfriend, thats a no go and or if a friend goes straight for the guy you have been talking about for months, now that I understand. But for crying in a bucket a friendship for a 25yr old soft cock. Get real, there are more important things in this life to worry about.

Build a Bridge…till next time Holly

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The Lip Test

July 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm (Kisses)

After my naughty boy left just now I was thinking about lips, and how almost without fail I can identify how a guy will kiss… just by looking at his lips.

Everyone has their favourite types of lips and kisses, I see benefits in all of them. Here are some of the things I look out for when sussing a dude out:

* Shorter upper lip, bigger bottom lip – these guys have softer kisses, with less tongue. Also, bottom lips are perfect to nibble on.

* Small mouth, very thin lips – they can still kiss well, but they never quite open their mouths enough.

* Full lips – sometimes these don’t get it right, and there isn’t enough tongue or nibbling. Other times they are textbook perfect.

* Dry, chapped lips – often they don’t quite hit the ‘good kiss’ mark, and either use too much tongue or they kiss too fast. Also, it just doesn’t feel that good compared to say, soft and kissable lips.

My boy falls in the full lipped category… he has an amazing range of kisses though, and he knows just how to strike the right balance. As for the thing he does with Lindt balls… sheesh.

Have I mentioned how much I love kisses??

~ Vic

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Are these the rantings of a complete lunatic?

July 19, 2009 at 8:35 pm (2009)

dude

Okay I have to admit that I am rather stoned but and thats one mighty big but??

I have to ask? Why all the games? Do some men, and I mean some, get some sick pleasure out of not responding to calls or texts? After having recently finished “He’s just not that into you” thats what it makes me think. So why does ole “Softy” think its okay to say, “no its not that, please dont tell me you think I think of you as a booty call” and “No, Holly, its not like that, I really like you.”

I’m sorry but Fuck you, no seriously fuck you. How dare some soft cocked wanker think that I, me with all my wonderful self esteem is going to fall for that bullshit.

This is what I think, get right from under one sad loser and under another hot studly, never will be a relationship, stiff cocked man that will at least give you some form of an orgasm for a little while. And snuggles for petes sakes, I just sucked your cock, I deserve a cuddle.

Phew anger management 101 for tonight, I feel much better –  till next time, Holly Vegas

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Kiss the Boy…

July 19, 2009 at 7:48 am (Kisses)

The Teenagers

I was finally allowed to go to my first social, I was in Standard 5 and wow this was a big deal.  Groote Schuur social, boys standing on one side and girls on the other. I met a boy, he was in Standard 4, my very first toy boy. It was sweet, we held hands and promised each other that we would go bike riding the next day.

Next day with my heart beating out of my chest, we rode down to the VOB fields, bikes to one side and inbetween a boys legs for the first time, we kissed. Growing up, and watching shitty programmes like Loving and Santa Barbara you have this idea of what kissing should be, this passionate, soapified ahhh, oh baby. But then when you pull away and you have spit drooling from one cheek to the next, those ideas are quickly squashed, I honestly think that that particular kiss put me off boys for a good 6 months and that I was well into my Std 6 year before I let a boy anywhere near my lips again.

But we all have our firsts and that was mine, thankfully it got a hell of alot better, tingles in places you shouldnt be thinking about at the age of 15 better, and so the stories begin….-till next time, Holly Vegas

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