What to do, what to do?

August 25, 2009 at 8:17 pm (2009)

So its official, its payday and I am already very nearly broke, my father, forever the accountant told me to work out a budget. So I did. I nearly cried. I have been a smoker (a horrible addiction that I love) for 15 years now and I’m officially at a point where money is more important than smoking. It’s sad. It’s like saying good-bye to a very dear friend. I think I may just cry (no, I’m not pms)

But I have to do it, as all the ex smokers in my life tell me, its the best thing that they have ever done, its not that hard, I am paying to poison myself, oh and think of all the money you will save. Apparently its about 9 grand that I am setting on fire every year, that’s my ticket to London next year that I could be saving for, bad Holly.

I also need to get back to gym, the heferness is getting way out of control, a colleague at work recommended this kick boxing, weight training class, a 3 month get fit for summer thing, I am thinking about it. People are starting to ask me if I am pregnant, also I look like a bad mother with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. Although I did just spend R895 to join Virgin for life, I’ve been once; I should have just spent that money on cigarettes.Spud

Another what to do?? And I need advice, I am thinking about moving to Jo’burg. I love Cape Town don’t get me wrong but Jo’burg feels more like me. Does that make any sense? I am a Capetonian born and bred, is that a terribly traitorous thought? My cousin made a funny comment the other day, she’s from Jo’burg, she’s says that all Capetonian love telling people they are from Cape Town, its almost like a badge of honour, “Hi, wow, like, I’m from Cape Town” and then all the other poor sods who are not from Cape Town must all of sudden gush about how frigging amazing we are because they just arent quite, as special (its true in a way, go Stormers!!!)

Last but not least, I am worried about alcoholic housemate. She drinks a bottle of red wine a night all to herself. I get home and she’s slurring away, she also gets up to train at 6am and did Ironman a few months ago but she drinks a bottle every single night. Saturday I busted her polishing off a bottle of red before she went to a party, confidence booster apparently, me thinks she needs help. I am also sick of coming home to the smell of fried food, munchies??

News: I finally got of the courage to resign from book club, after months of agonising I sent a group e-mail. It felt so damn good.  Oh and everyone should read Spud by John van de Ruit, it beats Adrian Mole any day of the week.


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The Irish…

August 23, 2009 at 5:38 pm (Let's Talk About Sex Baby)


It was my sister’s birthday party last night and you must understand that the Vegas family holds a damn good shindig, so as you can guess, we were all horribly pissed and dancing until the wee hours of the morn. It was a dress up party so I went as a white trash, baby under one arm and a pregger “balloon” belly, people were calling me Britney by the end of the evening it was hilarious. I did meet an incredibly boring guy though; the only thing that held my attention was his Irish accent. I love the Irish, I love the Irish accent, it makes me weak in the knees, they can be the ugliest Irishman on the planet but as soon as I hear that Irish twang it makes me want to drop my undies and say “talk to me big boy”!

This however does lead me onto the story of the Irish, all five months of its complete and utter insanity.  I had just broken up with Bad Shag and the sexual side of my personality had taken a big dent, spending 3 years begging for sex can make a girl feel terribly unsexy. I was out at the local Novello’s in Parsons Green for our weekly Elvis show when I met Irish, there was just something so incredibly sexy about him, this bad boy, this damn sexy bad boy that took me into a corner and kissed me until my lips were numb. It started off innocent enough but then I went home with him after a few weeks and that’s when things got heated. We would argue and argue and then fall into bed, we would send dirty texts, in one month I sent over 5oo texts. He would stand me in front of the mirror naked and tell me how sexy I was and then take me to bed. It was this insane passionate addiction. I would walk away bruised but content from the violently, passionate sex. I felt like me again, Holly was back, the sexual being that I have always been had returned. But the relationship was incredibly unhealthy; I wanted what he couldn’t give me, a relationship. All the dirty talk in the world didn’t make up for these strong feelings that I was having and I started becoming obsessed with him. One day I eventually cracked and we argued until there was nothing left to say. He actually ended it and I knew I had to walk away before it became ugly, the difference between a sane person and a stalker, is that the sane person knows when to walk away.

I was upset, I wanted to call him, I wanted him so badly, and I had to delete his number off my phone to maintain my own sanity.  I went to watch the London marathon, I called Fur Ball, Fur Ball had been trying to get me into bed for months, and he still jokes about how I denied him a blowjob on his birthday. I needed something, someone to take away the horrible feelings I was having, so I eventually I just said to Fur Ball “aren’t you going to ask me to have sex with you?” he said he had given up but we went back to his place anyway and I still maintain to this day that it was the best rebound shag that I have ever had. A rebound that lasted 9 months, the best rebound ever.



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The Underwear Question

August 22, 2009 at 5:30 pm (2009, Fun and Games)

underwearLa Senza or bust!

The boy came to visit today, and as I had gotten out of the bath, I didn’t bother putting on underwear. Thinking back, I have been doing this a lot lately. Don’t get me wrong – I adore La Senza (as does he), but somehow going commando and negating pants is so satisfying on so many levels.

First, it’s more comfortable. Usually, I opt for g-strings or sheer boy leg underwear, but not wearing any at all is far more comfortable than either of these. Also, I take great delight in texting my man during the day to tell him I ‘forgot’ to put anything on – it is even more fun to text him when we’re out at a party or club to tell him.

Overall though, I just feel hotter when I don’t wear underwear. I feel just as hot as I do when I’m wearing beautiful frilly, lacy and whispy things in pink and white. But maybe just a tad naughtier too, hehe.

~ Vic

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Ooooh are we on firsts again…

August 20, 2009 at 5:30 pm (2009, Let's Talk About Sex Baby)


So Vic and I hit the town on Saturday night all dolled up and rearing to go. I kissed a 23yr old I told him my breasts were fake, he didnt beleive me, I said I had a great surgeon, I love causing shit when its so frigging easy. And no, I dont have fake boobs. One things for sure though these little people are sure easy to please. I dont remember being that eager when I was 23.  He said he wanted to come home with me, I told him to go to Tiger Tiger.

Okay First Time Story:

Firsts are tricky and I wish it had been special dont get me wrong but if I had waited I would have been 24.  I needed the practice in the mean time I reckon. Nah, I do wish I had waited. I was quite young, age is not relevant.  We were in Hermanus for Easter weekend, back in the day when Hermanus wasnt overidden by Vaalies and all built up. When drinking on Voelklip beach was still cool and heading out to party at (dammit I cant remember the name of that place) the other cool beach hmmmm, I hate it when I cant remember things, was it Barnies, Glen Beach YAY. We had been drinking all day Vodka orange, Vodka Fanta, Vodka straight. My brother and both of our friends headed out to Lovers Cove and drank some more, he hooked up with some locals and were just chilling on the beach. I ended up “having something” with this guy, we seperated from the crew, all that touchy feely stuff was going down. He asked me if I wanted to have sex, I said I wasnt sure and then it just kind of ended up happening. I wont say it hurt, the alcohol numbed that. I wont say that having sex on the beach for the first time was spectacular. Who wants sand up their crack??

But ja, that was it, it was over, the big whooohoo I am no longer a virgin was gone, it didnt change who I was, it didnt change who I am. Sex is just something thats there, or rather the way I see it, a right of passage.  The guy I lost my virginity to died a few years later in a car accident. I wont say that I was heartbroken, he was just that guy, a stupid one night stand that changed my Virgin status (Or as Vic would say “popped my cherry”).

News: I am thinking of trying speed dating with my alcoholic housemate. Is there less chance of meeting a psycho that way??

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First but not best

August 19, 2009 at 7:25 pm (Let's Talk About Sex Baby)

kneesNot even close!

Your first time is meant to be romantic. It’s also meant to be special, a precious gift {insert suitable parental warning about sex before marriage here} and amazing. Yes, we know it would be painful – and luckily our friends who ventured forth before us into the land of the popped cherry gave us some idea of how it really was (I believe ‘watermelons’ and ‘keyholes’ were the terms used most often). Still, most of us somehow still hoped it would be at least something to squeal about at school the next day when we walked stiffly around with bruises on our thighs.

My first time was not special, or romantic. It was painful, but it was also kind of awkward and to add to the wtf’ness of the moment, it was also my first proper introduction to the one night stand. The boy in question was a blonde surfer type, far too good looking for his own good, and extremely arrogant and rude. Even then boys like that could make me swoon with just a hint of a naughty smile – give me attention and kisses and I was like a moth to a flame! By the time things had heated up under the blankets in a friend’s bedroom, I barely had time to think before something very big (and as you could guess, pretty damn hard too!) had made its way into me and in a few agonising thrusts it was over. The walk of shame afterwards too far longer however, especially as it turned out that the room hadn’t been totally empty as I had thought. Oops.

With a massive hickey on my neck, and the completly mistaken thought that the blonde asshole would treat me at least half-way decent after taking my virginity, our little gang set off for a high school social – promptly getting barred from entering, possibly due to the fact that we’d been drinking most of the day, and looked like hell. Walking around the streets of Kenilworth, with the boy barely even pretending to care anymore, I learned my first valuable lesson about boys: they generally really couldn’t give a shit. Hard as that is to swallow, it’s a cold hard truth… boys are assholes, 99% of the time.

A decade and a half or so down the line, and things have gotten much better. I’ve realised that there are guys out there who aren’t assholes, and obviously sex has gotten better. As they got older, guys got better at it – even if most of them still have the same retarded attitude that they don’t have to have manners or bother being nice.

Funny thing is, if I had waited just a month I would have shared that first encounter with someone very special. And it would have been a whole different story… one that has the whole ‘love’ thing in it. But in a way I’m glad I got it out of the way, cos after that first time it was smooth sailing!

What was your first time like, and do you wish you had done things differently?

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Seriously Lacking in all Departments!!

August 13, 2009 at 4:50 pm (2009)

Argh this week has been hectic and the pay increase is still being discussed which in layman’s terms means I am still going to go for broke till the end of Quarter 3. You have to love South Africa, we just had out 500th long weekend for the year, mid month, which means the good old fashioned barbeque (Braai) and copious amounts of wine stolen from Daddy’s Wine Cabinet (I think he is starting the notice the lack of red wine oops).

I need to change the subject and fast, the lack of money and work fulfillment in my life at present is too stressful to comprehend right now and I would rather discuss another “lack” in my life – Sex. One would think I need all 3 to survive and you would be correct. I cant argue with the fact that I am a hell of a lot luckier than most so I think I should just stop being a whiney bitch. Although I so think, that if I was having lots of sex everything else would fall into the okay category.

I’m not nympho, I promise.

So its over with Toy Boy, I drunken dialed him last Thursday and expressed the fact that my self worth is worth more than him. He ranted about how I never gave him a chance to show me that he cared, I said I didn’t care. He came over for movies on Friday night and after some red wine I have to admit I did try to pull a move but he said that he was honouring our friendship by standing by what I said, dammit, I shot myself in the foot there. He left, the Guru smsed, a few drunken sms’ back and forth and sleep overcame my need for sex.

There have been a few drunken texts this last weekend but nothing came of them, so I started pondering whether or not the shag buddy was worth all the effort? And whether or not I should rather be putting all the effort I put into getting a shag into rather getting a friggin boyfriend. I haven’t had a boyfriend in 3yrs I don’t know how to, not be single, cocky and just plain full of shit anymore. I am so used to getting my own way, how do I compromise?? Although all previous boyfriends will make statements to the fact that even in a relationship it’s all about getting my own way ha, ha.

To boyfriend or not to boyfriend that is the question??

I need to be challenged, please boyfriend fairy send me a boy that challenges me, pretty please….


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Toys for couples… hmm

August 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm (Fun and Games)


I recently came across something that made me laugh out loud a little bit… toys for couples. Now don’t get me wrong, bedroom aids can be fun, but when it comes to toys, I’m just not so sure.

Here are some examples that I might try, as well as some that I wouldn’t touch with a six foot barge pole…

* Tickler – a two-way cock ring slash clitoral stimulator. Ok, maybe I’d consider this.

* Double adapter – not quite a strap on, one end goes up you, the other end up him. Um, no. It’s just too much, I wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry!

* His ‘n hers SM kits – to see who’s the boss. I just don’t know about all the leather and bossiness stuff. I’ve always wanted a paddle, or a feather whip, and I like the idea of spanking him into submission… but PCV and leather and the hard stuff just doesn’t really do the trick for me.

Those are just a few I could think of off the bat, any other suggestions that you may consider?

~ Vic

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I think its time for you to leave…

August 6, 2009 at 4:13 pm (2009, Fun and Games)

Vic, I have to agree with you, relationship sex is completely different but somehow better.  They say it has to do with female’s emotions and maybe it does but at the same time it can be rather awkward telling your one night stand “you’re doing it wrong, stupid”.  Although, I have to admit I have absolutely no qualms with moving a guy’s hand in the right direction or just giving a guy directions in general. What? Am I supposed to stare at the stars while you fuck it up, I don’t think so.

I was chatting to the Guru yesterday on Facebook, maybe begging for sex a little and the topic of conversation moved to how sometimes you are just not in the mood for that unemotional fuck. He was telling me about how it can be exciting initially but once that person is there, you don’t want them there anymore and you just want the shag to be over and for them to leave. I have to agree and have to admit I have kicked a few boys out of my bed with nothing, evil I know.

If I don’t want something, there is no way in hell that you are going to get it out of me. One night I was out, I met a boy, we sucked face, the hormones were raging, so I decided to take him home with me. By the time we got home, I wasnt in the mood anymore and all I actually wanted to do was pass out, I didnt want him there, some random that I didn’t really give a shit about, so I said “I think its time for you to leave.” He wasn’t impressed. I didn’t care. He bitched and moaned about his hard cock, I made him walk back to Oblivian at 4 in the morning.

I don’t necessarily agree with the one night stand shag, it can be amazing don’t get me wrong but you always walk away a little empty. The birds may be tweeting because the orgasm was amazing but you always tend to ask the question “was it all worth it?”. “Who is this person to me?” And, how you somehow wish it was a someone that you cared about instead of a random.

However, I will never forget that one, hot, sweltering night with the Australian.  Mmmmm standing on the balcony wrapped in the Australian Flag, dripping with water/sweat from hours and hours…need I say more.

😉 Holly

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Sex when you’re single vs. sex when you’re not

August 5, 2009 at 8:23 pm (2009, Guy Skills)


There’s nothing quite like a seriously good shag. I’ve had great sex during my single days as well as in my relationships, and each one has something different to offer…

Single Sex:

  • There’s a lot more variety out there, if you don’t like the current penis, you *could* find another one
  • You don’t have to think about what he wants, and you can be as selfish as you like
  • Sometimes if you’re a bit drunk you don’t really enjoy one night flings much
  • When you’re deprived, your options are a lot more open
  • It’s a hit or miss kinda deal – if he doesn’t get it right, you don’t get another chance (well, not til the next morning anyway)
  • You often tend to have sex in weirder places, and sometimes it’s rushed and crazy which can be hot
  • You have to wake up with the dude the next morning (or one of you has to do the dreaded walk of shame in the wee hours)
  • You don’t always hit the orgasms, unless his oral skills are up to scratch or he’s just really, really that good

Relationship Sex:

  • You get to know his body really well, and you know exactly what button to press (and he knows your buttons)
  • If he doesn’t get it right the first few times, you can teach him to do it properly
  • If you’re deprived, it’s just too damn bad… you have to wait til you can get laid, or settle for toys
  • You can talk dirty without feeling stupid or worrying about scaring him off
  • You try new things – sometimes it’s sweet and slow, other times he throws you down like a wild man
  • You hit the Oh spot more often (especially when he starts learning how to get you there)
  • Waking up with him is part of the fun
  • The eye contact, and eyelash kisses and whispered sweet nothings actually turn you on and make you melt rather than piss you off and make you barf

Both can be equally shitty or good… it just depends on the mood, the guy and of course, what you need at that particular point in time. There are times I miss the crazy ass single life, especially when I haven’t seen my man in a while. But the toe-curling, heart-melting shags that give me flashbacks when I think about them make giving up my wild ways worthwhile, for now anyway. 😉

~ Vic

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Alcohol makes me crazy…

August 3, 2009 at 5:48 pm (2009)

You wont believe what I did on Friday night?? I drank 3 Jaegers and proceeded to suck face with Toy Boy again. What is wrong with me? I have tried to see the positive side in all of this – action – but really now, he gave me R50 toward our R 250 bill. Yes, I did order all of the Jaegers but he drank them too.

Then in my drunken state I told him I wanted to use him for sex and nothing else and that I loved his penis. What is wrong with me?? He has turned into an okay guy but for fuck sakes he’s still a student living at home with Mommy and Daddy. I don’t want to pay for everything. I want to be spoilt too, not just sexually. But at the same time I don’t know how to quit it??

The plus side of my crazy life includes:

I am loving the papercut chronicles – don’t judge me for my love of gangsta rap.

And I finally got up the courage to ask for my first ever increase, we shall see.

Feel the fear and do it anyway…


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