Hi my name is Holly and its been 92 days…

September 28, 2010 at 4:46 pm (2010, Just a few thoughts)

since my last shag.

I want this boy!!

You would think I would be clawing at straws by now but surprisingly I’m okay. Okay I’m a lighter shade of purple. And I attempted sexually abusing Toy Boy on Thursday night before promptly getting bored and kicking him out of my flat (I was defriended on facebook because of this ha ha). I have no shame when I am drunk and I actually told him I was bored and that it was time to leave, he wasnt impressed, I didn’t care, I still don’t care, does that make me a bad person. Boys that smell like dove soap, I don’t know hey, my clit died.

Less than two weeks till Daisies, there’s a new boy that I like, he’s emotionally unstable, just broken up with his girlfriend and acts like a cocky wanker in front of his friends. On the other hand he loves the same music that I do, likes me for all my bullshit and we can talk for hours and hours. He even called me exotically beautiful, does that mean the same thing that cute does? Hope not. I am not sure if Daisies is the right time to attempt a fondle with this boy. But man I want him. Did I mention he plays the drums too, yesiree, this boy used to play in a band, sexy Rocker boy mmmm…. Leave me be all I have left are my fantasies.

My mate and I went onto some dating websites the other day (is this a sign of pure and unadulterated desperation eek), and I decided I am not quite ready to pay to date, why must I pay someone to get introduced to some new boys. Is it the sign of the times that everything is done in front of a freaking computer and no one just goes out and meets people. Vomit not quite ready to follow that path. Desperation is not in my vocabulary just yet.

No news, no penis, does 3 months of no sex make me a virgin again?



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Around the world in 80 lays ;)

September 15, 2010 at 7:56 pm (2010, Let's Talk About Sex Baby)

I wish that was a true story except it’s actually been 80 days since I got laid, yes, I actually calculated it. It’s that sad, well in my world, that sad. The drought led to a self-imposed mantox, the thought goes like this, “well if I am not interested in fucking anyone right now and there is nobody that I am attracted to enough to fuck, then why fuck for the sake of fucking?” Although if a man had to gently caress any one of my sexy bits I would probably come on the spot, I am one giant hormone ball, PMS included.

So I am trying for 100 days now, that will take us to the 5th of October (yes I calculated it) and if I can make it through Daisies without rampant bunny tent sex then I am may even try six months and if I can get to six months (which by the way I havent done since I was about 18) I may even try for a year. It’s quite a hectic prospect but I am trying out a new theory, “you don’t get touch me until you have mentally stimulated me.” And since I find mental stimulation quite a difficult thing to come by in Slaapstad, I reckon this should be a very interesting year ha ha

In a way I have also just decided that I miss the relationship I had with Bad Shag, yes, he was a Bad Shag but we could talk for hours and there was that emotional connection over the sex, so now its my mission to find both. And if it means giving up the sex for a little while to find it, then why not I am up for trying something new, always 😉

I havent made a decision about whether or not this no sex thing will include touching and kissing and well all the other rad stuff that precedes sex, yet. We shall see I can’t jump the gun, it hasn’t even been a 100 days yet ha ha

If I can give up sex, I must have the will power somewhere in me to give up smoking, shew…


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The Drought…

September 3, 2010 at 4:56 pm (2010)

It  had to happen some time…

No shag buddies, no potential boys, no nothing…

Not since England lost to Germany in the WC, what next?


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I won, I won…kinda

August 27, 2010 at 5:37 pm (2010, Just a few thoughts)

Well apparently some people don’t know the law, some people don’t know how my family work, you fuck with one, you fuck with all, oh it was so much fun when they had to sit there and retract their statements. Oh it was so much fun when I scared them into thinking they needed a lawyer and yes, oh yes it was so much fun to act like nothing had happened and to watch their faces.

I was sitting having a beer with Muis the other day and I came to the conclusion that men who are ambitious really freaking turn me on. Cleverness matched with ambition makes me weak in the knees. Looking at history and blah blah, the only guys that I have really gone for have been these successful, intelligent, go-getters mmmm…

Irish was on his way up, playing the stock market, Furball is a genius scientist/businessman, Guru well I wont mention what he does but it extremely successful and clever. The rest are all pretty much in the same category. Ambitious and hard-working, I wont lie it makes me a little tingly down below.

Things that turn me on, conversation, a proper conversation really turns me on, it’s all about communication for me not necessarily in the bedroom as well but outside. If I can have a proper conversation with you, then well the rest will follow accordingly.

Met a weird boy the other day, what is with weird boys and their need to sms stalk you about how they just want to cuddle no strings attached. Fuck off seriously, I am not going to give you licence to fondle my soft bits, sorry dude. If I am not attracted to you when royally dronk, then I will never be attracted to you.

I have also realised, as all woman are, at some point in their lives, incredibly manipulative. If I am about to not get my own way I will pull every trick out of my bag to make it go my way, there is only one person on this planet who doesn’t fall for it. No names mentioned but it seriously drives me insane and once again the tingles start. A man who doesn’t fall for my bullshit they are few a far between unfortunately this one is off-limits, playing the game is fun but games only get you so far.

So I have rambled enough for one evening I think its time to head out for drinks and some good tunes…feel it, it is here, Friday, shew I have missed you.


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I wish I could argue without crying!

August 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm (2010, Just a few thoughts)

Being female is the bain of my existence, I wish for one day I could be a man and argue to the point of frustration, without fucking crying. I wish that my ovaries didnt dictate my tear ducts and I wish that I could be rational when PMSing. I wish that I could have a rational argument without delving into my evil side and I wish that those that have it in for me a revolving door of Karma in their faces.

I wish all the things I think about after the fact, would come into my brain while the argument is actually occurring and I really wish that people out there would stop being so incredibly petty and causing shit for the sake of causing shit because they havent had a power trip in awhile. People tend to forget where I come from, people tend to forget that although I dont name drop, I know people and to stand there and try to speak the truth, when I know I am right will only make you fall very hard.

The game has only just begun, this is going to be fun, thank God the hormones are back in check, tears ducts check, chin up check, walking with my head held high the way my Mommy taught me, check.

“Fok hulle Pa, ne Pa, fok hulle!”


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Sick Puppies – Odd One

August 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm (2010, Favourite Tunes)

My new favourite band, pure awesomness, these lyrics are so pertinent because of the extreme drunk insanity last night, I pulled off an evil drunk, tequila is not my friend, it turns me into a cocky, arrogant, invincible bitch. Tequila, who needs cocaine? Made a new friend in a local Long Street Bergie called August, then walked into new flat block and found another bergie sleeping in the passageway, interesting times, Town is just interesting in general. Also realised that the friendship rules dont apply the same way in Town, maybe I care too much once again but hey that was a learning curve all on its own, apparently everyone is just looks out for themselves. Agh thats not going to stop me from caring, I dont agree with that rule especially when it applies to people that you care about, or just a drunk aquaintance in general.

Anyway here are the awesomeness lyrics to my new favourite song:

Sick Puppies – Odd one

Odd one, you’re never alone
I’m here and I will reflect you
Both of us basically unattached
To anything or anyone unless we’re pretending
You live your life in your head
Some call it imagination
I’d rather focus instead on anything except
What I’m feeling
What I’m feeling
Odd one…

Hey, it’s gonna be okay
Hey, we’re gonna laugh at this one day

Odd one, I wish I was you
You’re never concerned with acceptance
We are all desperately seeking out,
And fitting in with anyone
Who will accept us
But not you, odd one

Hey, it’s gonna be okay
Hey, we’re gonna laugh at this one day

Hey, it’s gonna be okay
Hey, gonna laugh at this one day

Hey, it’s gonna be okay
Hey, we’re gonna laugh at this one day

Don’t let someone tell you you’re no-one
Don’t let someone tell you you’re no-one
Odd one…


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The Shag Buddy and the Friend Category

August 10, 2010 at 4:23 pm (2010, Just a few thoughts)

Hey its been awhile, too much of a social life and my body murdered me for it but the good news is I finally accomplished the one thing that I set out for they year, I finally moved to town. Yes, it only took me a year and half to do it but frik its finally done and dusted and I am so excited. I am so close to everything, I can walk everywhere and its awesome. Step 2 – find a new job in a media related field. How the hell do you do that when the only experience you really have is in freaking sales. Media sales – cold calling – vomit.

So to head to the topic at hand, one thing I have noticed lately is that shag buddies dont like it when you move them to the friend category. I dont see anything wrong with moving a guy over once the shag buddy situation has well, burned itself out but they dont see you like that, they dont see you as a friend, they just see you as that girl they fucked for a few months nothing more, nothing less. Besides all those conversations that burned the midnight oil, telling your deepest darkest secrets post shag, lying there discussing  the what, where and why’s of life, so for me to just walk away and not be your friend is quite difficult. They dont see it that way, “oh well, I cant call you after a night out so ja, whats the point of responding to your texts?” I just dont get? Maybe its a girl thing, we cant help caring, crap that sucks, sometimes I wish I didnt care if you had a kak day at work. Sometimes I really wish I just didnt give a flying continental if you stubbed your toe. But I do,  even though 9/10 it was just sex once I haved moved you over to the friend category, I still want you to be apart of my life because you were for so long and I care about your stubbed toe. Its so frikking hard not to care. Ja, its definitely a girl thing.

Why cant girls and boys be friends once they have been shag buddies? I would love to hear what boys have to say on that. Furball and I are still friends but I suppose that was different we are like two peas in pod.

I’m over it, if thats the way it should be then so be it, carefree shagging hmmm who knows if its possible if you have ovaries. Its not like I want you to be my boyfriend for petes sakes. Maybe thats what they are thinking, that if you are too nice to them that you luuuurvve them. No, its called having a freaking personality and that damn caring thing again, I dont want you for your manhood anymore but I do enjoy your brain, is that too hard to comprehend?

No, I’m not angry, just trying to understand what goes through boys brains?

Oh well, off to comedy, should be good one!


PS Bring on the cheese, dont judge me for my love of Bieber!!

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The Seagulls name was Nelson

July 7, 2010 at 8:24 pm (2010)

So once again I am incredibly glad to have inherited my Mothers memory, I won another bet, hence the name of this post, yes, it’s actually a song. Google it. So much World Cup madness, met a cute American boy, love intelligent conversations. We smooched and then I ran off with his hat. Kissed an Argentinian too, yup, weird night. Patron, yes, you would be correct.

It’s strange how the lead up to your 30th can lead you into a blind panic and then once its there you sort of just don’t care anymore, umm, how do I put this, fuck it, I’m still having fun. I am incredibly blessed, there is a lot of love in the air from family and friends, I have a roof over my head and a warm blanket that covers my body every night and a salary that pays for all my goofiness, I am one lucky girl who am I to complain.

Bad shag has impregnated his wife, wasnt impressed when I found that out, umm well because it was one of the reasons why we broke up, mini vomé in the mouth. But once again the “he’s just not that into you” concept comes into play, he does want to impregnate someone, just not you, mini back flip in emotions and then it was umm do you really care?? You would have settled, do you want that?? Nooooo!!!

Lots of news, please excuse…

Guru has come back on scene, not in quite the way you would expect, closure no. 2 for the month. You know how you go back to a situation expecting one thing and then you get another, well that was it and I kind of walked away going, Thank God , the feelings are gone, still think he’s a rad guy though, challenging – ja, I like that brain.

Found out from Furball that a new girl friend of mine wants me, that was quite interesting, he found out at my birthday, remind me I need to tell the pepper  spray story at some point (highlight of my birthday, sarcasm noted) , anyway she is bi which I recently found out too and well, wants me. Hmmm I am just playing friends, we are going away for her birthday, remind me not to drink too much, I am too crazy when I drink.

Player has been reminding me of the fact that I am the worst kind of procrastinator that there is, and its holding me back in such a huge way. Umm tomorrow, no I don’t think so, umm how about next month, umm…. Ja not good. I’m reading the 7 habits of highly effective people, time to move forward and yes, I have been talking about this for months, years, decades but now I actually have to do it. I promise I will do it  – I will send my CV out. I will, I promise!! Blog promise!! You can give me shit if I go back on it.

There is so much to tell and only so much internet time….well, I am just having fun for the moment, I don’t want to complicate my life, ooh, exams results, I was right I fucked up Xhosa, Comm Law was fine and so was Info Science. I am too old for this shit, I hate studying.

A poll you say???

The question is:

Should I finish my degree or just work my way up?

Time to go, time to have another glass of red vino!!

H 🙂

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Why I am loving the World Cup…

June 29, 2010 at 7:31 pm (2010)

Long Street,where I was on opening day weee that was a good night 🙂

  1. I can feel the African spirit pouring through my vein’s, the “gees” and for the first time in a long time I am feeling well and truly proud to be South African.
  2. Where else in the world would you wake up to the sound of honking horns, face’s painted, people dancing in the streets.
  3. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, I love that guy, “I feel like I am in a dreeem!”
  4. Watching the opening concert and the texts back on forth between myself and Vic, tears streaming just because we are so proud of our country.
  5. Watching black, white and coloured faces all joining together in the crowds around SA singing the National Anthem together.
  6. Meeting some amazing people from all over the world, having a laugh and having a beer and being devastated when England lost with their back sides in the air.
  7. Seeing South Africa well and truly showing the world what we are made of.
  8. The new high way link between De Waal, Hospital Bend and Rhodes drive, no more playing dodge the taxi while trying to cross 3 lanes of traffic.
  9. World Cup exhaustion, there aint nothing like rocking up to work after 3hrs of sleep, one too many tequila’s and a shiny gangsta top that says Cameroon on the back and the clothes you wore yesterday.
  10. Craziness, pure unadulterated craziness, sharing vuvuzela’s, dying of the swine and still partying till dawn.

Only two more weeks of exhaustion but hey, its only once in my lifetime I reckon, so its worth it!!

H 🙂

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Closure and the big 30

June 20, 2010 at 1:25 pm (2010)

The good, the bad and the ugly should be the title of this post but hey, its been a high string of emotion over the last few days, weeks, months but it’s finally here, I’m finally 30. After yesterdays ugly cries and laughs and giggles and arguments I feel like I am finally seeing the things clearly, the fog has been lifted and I can think straight again. I have realised who my true friends are and I have also realised that it’s over, finally over.

In true Cape Town fashion some people were dickheads, in the true spirit of friendship the people that mattered really mattered yesterday. People came through and really made my birthday feel special after spending the day crying and panicking and running around like a headless chicken.

I have come to the realisation that the reason why this birthday is so shit is because you get to a point where you go “FUCK, what have I done for the last 30 years and what have I achieved.” As you are growing up you have these plans for your life, by the time I am 30 I will be a journalist, by the time I am 30 I will be barefoot and pregnant, by the time I am 30 I will have married the love of my life and then you get here and you don’t have any of those things and then you go “FUCK, what now?” Time to set some goals and actually achieve them. The journey to 30 has been a great one though, the amount of shit I have gotten up to and the amount of good times and kak times but generally what a fucking epic journey thus far.

I finally got closure on Furball, it finally feels like the story has ended, the romantic fantasy I been living and building up in my head has finally been closed, that chapter of my life is over and funnily enough I am not really sad about it because I have a wonderful friend out of it. Someone that went all out for my birthday, someone who truly made me feel like a princess on my birthday. Besides the pepper spray and bouncers last night was a good night and I love him and all my other crazy friends for it.

My head is pounding and I have a filthy house to clean, there’s so much to say but not enough energy to say it.

So till next time or maybe later…


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