Let them do the chasing?

May 8, 2010 at 7:34 pm (2010, Guy Skills)

I’ve been speaking to a lot of people lately regarding boys and just general, why, why, whys?

Vic told me something yesterday which Blade had told her when they first met, he said “that I must give guys the chance to win me over.” Valid point Vic, its difficult though because as Vic knows my patience levels are about a zero, I don’t want to wait for the boy to chase me, so I end up chasing them which I know is stupid. Men are still back in the cave, hunting and gathering and they still want to hunt their prey which is applicable in the dating game – they want to hunt you, pursue you and not the other way round because as soon as the prey turns around and starts chasing the hunter the hunter runs away. Yes guys, the unfortunate truth is dating dates back to the dinosaurs.

Then I started chatting to the Guru and he just reiterated what Blade said, guys like to do the chasing. Is this where I have gone wrong all this time? I also have this other problem, guys especially guys that I have shagged like to talk about sex with me, all the time. Is it because I’ve allowed myself to be that person to them, that’s all about the sex talk and nothing else. Do they not have anything else to talk to me about? I think because I am such a sexual person I’ve allowed that to overshadow the chances any man has ever had of actually getting to know me outside the bedroom. I think I need to go back to high school, make them wait. What a blowjob? I don’t think so.

My FWB (friend with benefits) came over last night, snuggles mmmm that was good. Just laying in bed all morning, talking, snuggling, kissing, playing. Happy place. I think, I’m keeping this FWB for winter. Also having an FWB means I wont be that keen to just jump in the sack with some guy that I do actually like because essentially I wont be a lighter shade of purple due to my FWB keeping the cobwebs at bay. Hmmm good plan?

So all in all, I need to learn patience and I need to let them chase me. This should be interesting, I might as well just chuck my cellphone in the bin.

H

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Screw the romance…

May 6, 2010 at 4:03 pm (2010, Guy Skills, Just a few thoughts)

I think I’ve just been played fucking hell, my bullshitometer is normally quite good, but my “like blinkers” were on and I didn’t see the accident that was up ahead, dammit. I mentioned the boy in the previous post, I think that the blinker blindness was still in effect and my save the world, we are all good people ultimately feelings were still flying high. Fluffy damn you fluffy, damn you butterfly’s and naughty giggles.

I love Dorothy Black and her post on players got me thinking about this guy, I mean its like a game of have your cake and eat it. The truth of the matter is when we met he had just started seeing someone, dating not going out as he so eloquently put it but he still wanted to see where things would go. We kissed we got naked, stupid me. Then he would turn around and say “I still want to see where things are going with x.” I finally saw the light today damn you light why didn’t you come earlier. I had decided last week that I was going to walk away from the situation, let him play it out with x but then the texts and the skyping and whatever means of media you can use started.  I spoke to him finally and he told me that x was going nowhere and that she didn’t ” inspire” him, yes his word “inspire”, so I decided I wanted to inspire him all night long, so I flirted back, blatantly, with all sorts of naughty thoughts. Stupid me.

We were supposed to go out on Tuesday, he cancelled, we were supposed to go out on Wednesday he cancelled again due to hangover. Then today he tells me he feels like he didn’t give x enough of a chance that since the booty call text at 3am on Wednesday morning his feelings on the subject of x had changed.

You get these clever guys, I’ve met them before why I didn’t see it coming is beyond me, they fluff you up, make you feel damn special, they want to keep you a string just in case. I’m this guys “just in case”, he’s having all the fun with x but just in case it doesn’t quite work out with x, “please don’t you want to wait around, we can still be friends.” Fuck that.

But as Dorothy so poignantly pointed out I would still shag him, why though? Cause I know it will be good, the chemistry and all the sexual shit, damn you hormones leading me into trouble.

I’m over it Vic reckons I should go on mantox again, mantox doesn’t work, I need to meet a smoochable, I dont feel like getting naked, just some stupid boy I can play with for the evening, does that make me as bad as player dude above?

H

PS He sent me a picture of this butt, should I post it – or is that too evil? 😉

PPS I failed Xhosa miserably 😦

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Ooooh time for a bitching session

April 7, 2010 at 5:16 pm (2010, Guy Skills)

Its official, stupid dickhead that I decided to smooch two weeks ago has decided to turn into the nob of all nobs!!! The crap thing is we share friends, I have to hang out with this guy, I have been nothing but friendly, bordering on sickeningly sweet and he seems to think that because we have now smooched he can treat me like all the other 5000,000 million chicks that he sucks face with every weekend. I dont get it – asshole.

You see I was kind enough to send him an e-mail saying that I didnt think what we did was wise and that we should just be friends and that I hope we can remain friends without any awkwardness because I do actually enjoy hanging out with stupid fuckwit but he decided to get it into his pea brain (and this is why you should never score asshole/jock/bishops/players because they cant compute anything, I refer back to the “me man you woman lets fuck” statement) thats because I am still being the nice, lovely, friendly person that I always am, because I dont let scoring stand in the way of friendship, and he is now ignoring me completely, blatantly – and I have to hang out with the stupid fucker at Sowing the Seeds this weekend – damn I am going to give him a piece of my mind.

Can someone please explain to me what goes through a guys mind when he scores one of his friends, girlfriends friends?? I mean seriously does he honestly think that ignoring someone is the right way to go about things when you want to keep the peace amongst friends. Dumb, player, asshole, freak. Its just so damn stupid why cant people just behave with some form of civility.

I dont feel like being civil anymore fuck him.

H

PS I apologise for the F, C, A and all the other swear words but honestly they are all in the dictionary so Oxford has declared them English.

PPS Thanks to Chris M – I now officially know how to link back and link to people – I am like the anti computer person that gets all excited when they learn a new thing he he

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Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. – Billy Burke

February 21, 2010 at 10:49 am (2010, Guy Skills)

Vic and I have been having the men vs. boys debate, which we prefer and which are better in general ie are the younger ones more inclined to be players vs. the older ones, who some may say have more stability.

I’ll be honest here and say that I have been kissing some older ones recently, by older I mean late thirties early forties and the only difference between them and the boys is experience, nothing changes they are all still players. They all still say the same thing to try and get you into bed, “oh you’re so sexy I just want to get you naked and kiss you all over.”  I have been playing the game far too long to fall for that shit. “You’re amazing, I really want to get to “know” you better!” And then the next day the phone stays silent and you put it down to a new experience and thank the heavens that you didn’t fall for it and hop in the sack with them.  The difference between the men and the boys is perhaps life experience and the conversation is a little bit more intelligent but ultimately they all just want the same thing – a quick shag. Apparently my inability to fall for bullshit makes me high maintenance, as the 37yr old kindly told me last night. But sometimes I don’t want to fuck for the sake of fucking, sometimes I actually want someone to treat me with respect and sometimes I actually do want to get to know someone better before I decide to let them stick their hairy man beast where the sun don’t shine.

I phoned the Guru at 4 this morning, I needed a normal human being that wasn’t going to bullshit me, I hate bullshitters and the Guru doesn’t mess around he tells it like it is. Why can’t all guys be like that? Why cant guys straight off the bat say perhaps “I think you’re hot, I think the sex would be awesome, wanna shag?” “And no I am not going to call you in the morning because I would prefer to just fuck for the sake of fucking?” Now that I can appreciate, you wont necessarily get me into bed but it’s honest and it doesn’t get some girls hopes up that she may have just met a potential BF.

Honestly, try it, there shall be a few hits and misses but at least everyone knows where they stand.

Age doesn’t change men, they all still think with their little puppet down below.

Have you ever played puppet show, puppet show?

H

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Oh, ooh… no!

December 3, 2009 at 8:22 pm (2009, Guy Skills)

I have to say it… when one partner doesn’t feel the urge to make a noise in bed, and the other just can’t suppress their giggle-worthy moans, it’s not all that easy to find a middle ground. Waking up the neighbours with noises that make you want to laugh, cry or just put your hand over their mouth is never the best way to get into the mood – it just isn’t hot!

So what do you do if you have a noisy one? Like I did, you put up with it. You put on music and you try to resist the urge to put a pillow over their face, and you just accept that it’s something some do. I’m a quiet one, he never was. At least he never snored!

Ah well, at least I don’t have to put up with that anymore, hehe. Hopefully the next one will be quieter – and also not snore. Too bad you can’t program them beforehand, that would make like so much easier hey ladies!

~ Vic

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How to know when you are “in” there for dummies!

September 18, 2009 at 1:51 pm (Guy Skills)

stupid

So I was chatting to the Guru yesterday and was pondering what to write for my next post, something that would be interesting to a guy and something that guys always wanted to know. He came up with, “how do you know when you’re really in there”, I thought about for a little while and then came up with, “how the hell do you not know when you are “in” there?” We aren’t in kindergarten anymore children, its not fucking hard.

Yes, maybe writing from a chicks point of view it would not seem hard but really now. If you really had to think about it, it’s fairly easy to know when you are “in there”.

Think about it.

Okay for the ones that are slow on the up take here goes:

  1. She has been standing there for at least an hour listening to you dissect your boring ass job. She digs you, she wants to suck face with you.
  2. She is ignoring the rest of your friends and her friends and making it (okay in my mind) blatantly obvious that she wants your ass.
  3. Touching, wow, that’s a fucking no brainer, think about it. She accidentally touches your hand, links arms or while laughing at one of your crappy jokes touches your arm, you are pretty much in there.
  4. “Come dance with me, pretty please” = you’re in there.
  5. Please note: that if you buy a girl a drink and she accepts it, you are not necessarily in there. This one is important because some fuckwits out there still seem to think that buying a girl a drink constitutes a blowjob. I don’t think so.

That’s all I can think of, to be quite honest, instead of waiting around for the chicks to pull a move, why don’t guys just take a chance and try for a change.

So you get shot down, its not like your dick is going to fall off.

Till next time, Holly

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Fun and games

September 1, 2009 at 6:52 pm (2009, Fun and Games, Guy Skills)

One of my favourites things to entertain myself with at work is smsing my boyfriend all sorts of dirty innuendos and hints. This serves a number of purposes – firstly, I get a kick of out making him lose his focus at work (yes, I am evil) and also it makes it even more fun when I know I’m going to see him later.

Sometimes we even play this game when we’re out, it’s a fun part of foreplay I suppose and it never fails to delight me when I know what he’s thinking as he reads my texts.

This got me thinking, games are a lot of fun and great way to keep things fresh – but at what point do you draw the line, and is there such a thing as too much experimenting? Currently we’re pretty tame, aside from the texts and saucy underwear and occasional blindfolding we don’t really need much of the hardcore stuff. This seems to work for both of us, and I also think that sometimes when you’re always trying to experiment and try new things, you tend to lose that simplicity that enables you to have a mind-blowing time with no props or agendas at all.

So, while we will certainly try a few more tricks in our repetoire,  I hope we’ll never have the need for his ‘n hers dildos or hectic bondage sets. His strip teases are pretty much enough to get me going – hilarious as they are, it is almost impossible to not be turned on, hehe.

~ Vic

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Sex when you’re single vs. sex when you’re not

August 5, 2009 at 8:23 pm (2009, Guy Skills)

passion

There’s nothing quite like a seriously good shag. I’ve had great sex during my single days as well as in my relationships, and each one has something different to offer…

Single Sex:

  • There’s a lot more variety out there, if you don’t like the current penis, you *could* find another one
  • You don’t have to think about what he wants, and you can be as selfish as you like
  • Sometimes if you’re a bit drunk you don’t really enjoy one night flings much
  • When you’re deprived, your options are a lot more open
  • It’s a hit or miss kinda deal – if he doesn’t get it right, you don’t get another chance (well, not til the next morning anyway)
  • You often tend to have sex in weirder places, and sometimes it’s rushed and crazy which can be hot
  • You have to wake up with the dude the next morning (or one of you has to do the dreaded walk of shame in the wee hours)
  • You don’t always hit the orgasms, unless his oral skills are up to scratch or he’s just really, really that good

Relationship Sex:

  • You get to know his body really well, and you know exactly what button to press (and he knows your buttons)
  • If he doesn’t get it right the first few times, you can teach him to do it properly
  • If you’re deprived, it’s just too damn bad… you have to wait til you can get laid, or settle for toys
  • You can talk dirty without feeling stupid or worrying about scaring him off
  • You try new things – sometimes it’s sweet and slow, other times he throws you down like a wild man
  • You hit the Oh spot more often (especially when he starts learning how to get you there)
  • Waking up with him is part of the fun
  • The eye contact, and eyelash kisses and whispered sweet nothings actually turn you on and make you melt rather than piss you off and make you barf

Both can be equally shitty or good… it just depends on the mood, the guy and of course, what you need at that particular point in time. There are times I miss the crazy ass single life, especially when I haven’t seen my man in a while. But the toe-curling, heart-melting shags that give me flashbacks when I think about them make giving up my wild ways worthwhile, for now anyway. 😉

~ Vic

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Handjobs: Crossing New Frontiers

July 26, 2009 at 7:59 pm (Guy Skills)

Male Underwear

So Holly’s first encounter of the hard kind was pretty different to mine – I won’t even bother mentioning the first time a guy tried to force his hand up my vajayjay… but the first time I ever had a rock hard man member forced into my hand is another story altogether…

To be honest, at the time I was kind of going through a phase. I had literally broken up with a boyfriend of a few months who had just given me a Christmas present of a bag of weed, and the poor dude had been trying to tell me he loved me. Or liked me really, really much. Whatever. He was sweet, but it wasn’t working – he was a doormat who would do just about anything I asked, and too much nice guy can get a girl down after awhile. So I did the mature thing and dumped his ass (er, not) at a party I’d invited him and his best mate to. And then I hooked up with an ex boyfriend of mine. But then things went pear-shaped.

The very, very hot younger brother of a good friend of mine (who’s house we were at incidentally) suddenly invited me to share his sleeping bag on the balcony, and being the suddely liberated chick I was, I just couldn’t say no. Things were going fine when suddenly I felt something being pushed into my hand. Something hard, smooth and how should we say, throbbing. It was the first penis I’d encounted first hand… and it was rather persisent. I didn’t know what to do, but the dude in question luckily did, and he pretty much set the pace for what was to be my very first jerk off. It was weird… I felt powerful, but at the same time I was pissed that he was taking over and almost doing it all for me.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the ex I’d hooked up with got pissed off when he realised what had happened, and aside from an illicite snog years later, I left the toyboy alone. And it was a while before I realised how to regain control over situations like that.

Now I know just how to handle them. Every guy is different – it’s just a case of sussing them out and knowing what makes them tick. Once you know that, you have the power. And that’s hot. Hehe.

~ Vic

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Foreplay: you’re doing it wrong stupid

July 21, 2009 at 8:17 pm (Guy Skills)

foreplay

It never fails to amaze me how little men seem to understand about the female body. Even by the end of their twenties, it so often remains a huge mystery – they know about boobs of course, and if you’re lucky they know where the elusive clitoris is. But generally, it seems to be a hit and miss kinda thing… and then they never seem to understand why we don’t roll over in orgasmic bliss and bow down to their ‘magic’ touch.

Tip: you’re not going to find it by trying to shove your whole hand up there, or by trying the assertive-like brute force approach. For fucksake, you’d think men would have figured this out in their teens.

Still, for every five idiots who need a manual just to get to the oral action part, there’s another one or two who seem to know what they’re doing and doesn’t leave you with a sore fanny as Holly would say. You know they’re doing it right when your legs do that jelly thing and you don’t get bored half-way, basically.

Maybe we need a manual to help the unenlightened ones… but then again, maybe we just need to give them clear orders to follow. 😉

~ Vic

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